Every childfree Indian woman knows the drill. You attend a family gathering, and before you’ve even taken a bite of that samosa, you’re being bombarded with questions and advice about your reproductive choices. Welcome to the unsolicited counsel session!
Think about it, you’d think being a woman is about embracing all the facets of femininity, but in our beloved India, it’s often equated to embracing motherhood. This notion is as outdated as that old Doordarshan serial our parents still talk about. And just like those serials, the saga of nosy characters never ends.
Table of Contents
Aunty’s ‘Motherhood Manual’ Mantra
The beloved maasi or chachi (aunt) walks in, “Women are naturally motherly, beta.” They seem to think that along with our saree-draping skills and the recipe for perfect garam masala, we also inherited a ‘Mumma Manual.’ Well, surprise, not every woman feels the tug of motherhood. Some might be the go-to ‘bua’ to pacify a niece or nephew, but the same woman might also be the daredevil who wants to paraglide over Manali. Should she then be thrust into motherhood just because she’s good at pacifying kids?
Neighbour’s ‘Green Thumb’ Theory
Then there’s the enthusiastic neighbor, “You take such good care of your plants and pets; you’d make a fabulous mom!” Excuse me, but my cactus and goldfish don’t throw tantrums or require school admissions. And while we’re at it, looking after my potted tulsi doesn’t qualify me for motherhood. Moreover, the last time I checked, watering plants didn’t come with parent-teacher meetings or teenage rebellions. And my fern, unlike a toddler, doesn’t scream its lungs out when I forget to ‘feed’ it for a day!
Cousin’s ‘Age-old’ Argument
Here comes the eternal optimist cousin, “You’ll change your mind once you get older.” Oh, really? Just like I changed my mind about enjoying karela (bitter gourd)? If I still wrinkle my nose at that bitter veggie after all these years, why would my life’s convictions suddenly waver? Deciding on one’s life path isn’t like updating your wardrobe with the latest fashion trend; it’s a profound, personal choice that remains consistent over time.
Elder’s ‘Trial and Error’ Edict
The ever-dismissive family elder chimes in, “You think too much! Just have a baby and see.” Right, because life-changing decisions should be as casual as trying pani puri from a new street vendor. And when things get chaotic, can I return the baby like a kurta from myntra? Plus, babies don’t come with 30-day return policies or user reviews. It’s not like I can exchange them if the ‘fit’ isn’t right or if they’re a tad too ‘noisy’ for my liking! Would there be customer support for midnight wails and diaper dilemmas?
Philosopher Uncle’s ‘Love Lesson’
Now enters the philosopher of the family, usually an elderly relative: “Until you have your own child, you won’t understand the depth of love.” So, all those nights I stayed up worrying about my brother’s board exams or the heartfelt moments I’ve shared with my best friends are insignificant? Guess my affection for family was just me playing pretend? And here I was, thinking that the love I poured into every rakhi tied and every homemade birthday cake was genuine. Silly me!
Distant Critic’s ‘Real Woman’ Revelation
And of course, there’s the ultimate critic. Often a distant relative, perhaps the one you see only at weddings, suddenly turns sage and declares, “A real woman embraces motherhood.” Oh, thank you for the decades-long wisdom compressed into one sentence! So, my entire essence as a woman hinges on popping out babies? Funny, all this time I was under the impression that my identity was shaped by my experiences, dreams, and achievements. Maybe I should trade my degrees for a ‘how to be a real woman’ guidebook, penned by distant relatives.
The “Selfish” Twist
Lastly, there’s always someone, maybe a college friend or an office colleague, who labels you ‘selfish’ for your choice. Well, if prioritizing my mental and physical well-being, acknowledging my preferences, or maybe just not wanting to add to the already bustling Indian population is selfish, then I accept the title. However, it’s worth reflecting on the myriad reasons people choose to have children – whether for support in old age, the desire to see a mini-version of themselves, or simply because they felt it was the next step. If these reasons are socially acceptable, why is the decision to be childfree often unfairly branded as selfish?
To all the childfree Indian women dodging prying questions, sidestepping relatives, and constantly justifying their choice – here’s a salute. You’re not just breaking the mould; you’re reshaping it for generations to come. After all, we are dreamers, achievers, and pioneers in our own right.
So, the next time someone offers a piece of ‘well-intended’ advice, serve them a not-so-perfect cup of chai (just so they might think twice about frequent visits), share a laugh, and remember: Your life, your script. Let them enjoy their serials; you’ve got a whole blockbuster to direct!
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